To know that you are safe
by ClaireLewis
Summary: Zack and Cloud go missing during a mission in the mountains. After a month of silence Angeal cannot stand that and decides to go and find his Puppy, at all cost.
To know that you are safe…

Zack and Cloud go missing during a mission in the mountains. After a month of silence Angeal cannot stand that and decides to go and find his Puppy, at all cost.

Slight Zack X Cloud, hints of Zangeal. For my friend: Zimithrus1

I hope you like it ^^

(sorry for the mistakes it was written on my phone :p )

Blond ShinRa infantryman shivered and snuggled closer to his SOLDIER friend, just to feel the warmth. Mako energy that SOLDIER's body was infused with could keep them both warm enough to survive but only if Zack shared his body warmth with Cloud. So he did, the infantryman was cute and it felt good to sleep together, Zack had to admit he felt safer when he had someone to take care of. The two had spent a long time here in mountans trying to survive, to carry on.

„It'll be okay, Cloudie… I'll get us out of here… somehow" Zack said, resting his chin on the blond's head and hugging him closer.

Cloud groaned and clenched his hand on his abdomen, trying to hide the fact that he was exhausted from the cold and tired of constant moving on and fighting and he was hungry, thirsty, he wanted to sleep but the slumber wouldn't come. Zack looked at him, worried and handed a potion to the infantryman.

„We're running out of those as well. I'm sorry."

Cloud was taking tiny sips as if he wanted this potion to last for longer.

„It's not your fault…" he said, his voice coarse. He was sick. Sick of this mission, sick of Zack constantly fighting dangerous polar beasts that sometimes attacked both of them, sick of all of it! He liked Zack, really much, the SOLDIER was so nice and warm to touch and perfect to sleep with but it was all too much! He wanted to come back, home to Nibelheim and leave the dreams of becoming SOLDIER behind… if every mission was meant to go like this…

The blizzard didn't want to stop and it's been two days since they were trapped like that in this cave. If this lasts, they won't be able to survive, not for too long.

Zack sighed heavily, not knowing what to do. He despaired, if the storm doesn't stop, if anything goes wrong….if no one finds them…

Angeal was lying down in his room, not even able to do anything, it was officially announced that Zack, his Puppy, his favourite studend is missing in action. He cursed ShinRa, hated the Turks that were sent there to protect the two… after Reno said that they lost them, something in Angeal's behaviour had changed. His lectures seemed plain, meaningless to him, he was training SOLDIERs like he should but everyone was saying that „the good old Angeal was gone"

It was harder than he thought it would be and every single day was worse! He had to cancel three last trainings and then locked himself up in his room.

He then forced himself up, hearing someone knocking on the door but before he did so, he cast a glance at a photo on his desk, it showed him and Zack. Angeal remembered this moment, when Zack reached the rank of SOLDIER Second Class, he still remembered the boy's joy and happiness…

„Puppy…" he whispered, taking the photo and staring at it…

The knocking repeated and Angeal eventually opened the door just to see Genesis. A very pissed off Genesis.

„Okay, Angeal, this isn't funny anymore! Pull yourself together, dammit!" He took Angeal by the shoulders and shook him hard. But the other SOLDIER was simply ignoring Genesis's words.

„You don't understand, Genesis…" he finally said, freeing himself from Genesis's grip and sitting on the bed „I…"

„You…?" Genesis asked angrily.

„I loved him!" Angeal confessed „He was.. he was my Puppy…"

„Angeal! For Gaia's sake!" He then realised that it was all for nothing and that it was all in vain. Redhead General could only look at Angeal crawling back under the covers and shivering after a moment. Crying? Hewley was probably sure that Genesis already left.

„ _There is no hate…_ " Quoted Genesis _„…only joy. For you are beloved by the Goddess…_ " he then kneeled down near Angeal.

„ _My friend…_ "

„SHUT UP!"

Genesis jumped in slight shock and fell on the floor. „You… you really want kim to come back, right?"

Angeal nodded slightly.

„Get ready then, Hewley. We're going! We're gonna find your Puppy." Genesis said with a grin on his face.

Polar Behemoth jumped out of nowhere, attacking Zack and Cloud on their journey. It was really hard for the two to survive yet another one of the nature's attacks. Zack told Cloud to stand back and find a safe place not too far away. And he stood and fought. This one was even worse than anything he went through during the trainings yet still he had to fight. Survive. The fight was long and relentless but Zack simply knew he couldn't give up now. He had to fight. For Cloud, for Angeal… for himself.

He hesitated for a moment, not knowing, whether to use a Cure or a potion… he and Cloud were living off potions now but on the other hand, he already felt exhausted from using the Fire Materia, the only yhing that could hurt this thing…

It gave the monster the oppurtunity to attack once again, sending Zack on the stone wall. Young SOLDIER gasped, pulling out his lat precious Phoenix Down. He just couldn't leave Cloud alone, not now….

The Behemoth rushed towards the brave fighter, knowing its advantages.

The battle was hard and exhausting but finally, the Behemoth was ran towards Zack, trying to help him. He took the last potion they had and poured it into Zack's mouth. Raven-haired SOLDIER coughed several times before regaining breath and peace of mind.

„It is dead…" Cloud informed.

„You're… safe." Zack said, focusing on Clouds face. He didn't want to find a scratch on it… Cloud just nodded to confirm that he was okay and helped Zack up „Yeah… that's good" Raven-haired SOLDIER closed his eyes for a moment, before getting up. „Well, we have to find some good shelter this time. And hope that we'll be found by someone who will help us instead of something that could easily kill us…"

Blond infantryman just smiled sadly, he was unsure about their futureand wanted to come home already, maybe not even to Nibelheim, just leave this place and be safer in Midgar…

They found some shelter, not even a real cave, just a big hole in the mountain wall, it would fit about ten people inside and was a great shelter from the wind.

Cloud curled up and snuggled close to Zack, already feeling quite numb and very, very cold. They were out of potions, they knew that the end was titoeing nearer and nearer…

„It's pointless" Tseng said „We won't find them in this blizzard, bezides, the are most likely frozen to death! It's been a month, dammit!"

Angeal felt more nervous with every minute, no, every second. He couldn't just calm down.

„It's okay, Angeal… We won't stop searching, not now. They must be somewhere…"

Redhead General took Angeal's hand and squeezed it to solace his friend. „Tseng is just upset because he fails to find them… We won't stop, won't give up, Angeal. I know that you were in love with Zack. Besides… it was quite easy to see, hide your emotions better next time"

Angeal just sent a death-glare in Genesis's direction, then turning to the window to hide slight blush on his cheeks. Yes, he loved Zack more than any other person in the world… and that's why searching for him was harder with every minute.

Hours had passed and Tseng spoke once again.

„I'll have to land somewhere or ele we'll run out of fuel. If we don't find them tomorrow, we're leaving."

Angeal wanted to say something but Genesis calmed him down. They decided to set up a camp and spend night there. Genesis decided to be the one responsible for keeping the fire through the night. He saw that Angeal was depressed about what happened to Zack, and if they don't find them, it will change the proud, honorable and brave man Angeal was into a wrecked ship, an empty SOLDIER shell…

Since Angeal was his best friend, Genesis couldn't let that happen.

He'd use fire Materia to keep the bonfire flaming and occasionally take a sip of Ether to dispel the feeling of being drained. Of course, he wouldn't be Genesis Rhapsodos if he remained silent and didn't quote LOVELESS several times. Even though all of them were tired and cold, no one felt like going to sleep. The three men were simply staring at the fire, silence only interrupted by lines of the same poem repeated all over and over again.

After… some time, Angeal stood up and walked away, not saying a word. His shoulders were slightly slumped, he was walking slowly, as if he had already lost all hope of finding Zack. This sight was… painful for Genesis but he didn't really show it. Just started quoting LOVELESS again.

„ _My friend, do you fly away now? To a world that abhors you and I? All that awaits you-"_

„Shut up!" shouted Tseng.

That earned an annoyed sigh from Rhapsodos but nothing apart from it. Just minutes later, he stood up, throwing fire Materia to Tseng and rushed into the dark of the night after Angeal.

It didn't take him too long to catch his friend. He joined Angeal in silence and just walked by his side, this time truly silent. Maybe it was better, maybe that's what Hewley needed. Of course, what he needed the most, was fnding Zack. Alive. Also, there was one ShinRa infantryman with him but no one seemed to care about SOLDIER's friend.

Suddenly, Angeal stepped on some black ice, everything was so sudden that it felt more like in a dream than in real life, Angeal tried to regain balance and Genesis wanted to catch him before he falls, the result was Genesis more pushing Angeal and himself down from black-ice-covered mountain cliff than helping his friend regain balance.

They both fell down, into the dark of the night.

Zack was half-asleep, a part of him still trying to reckognize their surroundings in case of danger. Cloud, who was sleeping snuggling close to SOLDIER's warm body, was his number one priority right now. And so, Zack would do anything to help him survive. Even such, maybe small thing as for a SOLDIER like staying somewhat alert during the night could be a genuine lifesaver in these surroundings.

It was harder with every day, every passing hour. They haven't eaten anything for two days now (since they counted potions counted as their food rations here), the end was near, Zack knew it. He had lost hope some time ago and Cloud… Cloud was his only drive to move on, even if it seemed like Zack was the one dragging him everywhere.

Oh Gaia, how they wanted this damned mission to end… it was almost sure, that they'll die here. No wonder.

A sudden noise woke Zack immediately up. He held on tighter to his friend and looked towards the entrance of their small cave. He was sure he heard some kind of… groan? Human-sounding groan…

Zack gently put Cloud aside and reached for his sword. He was trying to sneak in this darkness, approach the potential enemy carefully. His movements were swift and silent but not too fast he was ready to attack if he sees any real danger.

All he could see was a black, massive silhouette, definetely belonging to a man. Someone bigger and stronger than him. Zack froze in his place, feeling the cold wind giving him goosebumps. The black figure was moving really slowly as for a human, maybe slightly stumbling. Zack was still more asleep than awake, probably, he stepped out of the cave and blamed himself when he heard the snow creak under his feet. The black figure turned in his direction.

Dear Gaia have mercy, combat in such a place was sure to end tragic and Zack was afraid about Cloud, himself… he had no choice but to step out of the cave's shadow to see who his potential opponent was.

The clouds moved away and the moon shone brightly over the mountains. It was bright enough for SOLDIER operative like Zack, he could now know his surroundings better. When he cast a longer glance at the black figure, he was paralyzed with shock. His knees felt weak as if he already wanted to give in to the man standing in front of him and forget about the whole damn world.

„A-Angeal?" he asked, as tears of joy formed in his eyes.

No, it was impossible, what the hell would Angeal do here? It wasn't true, was it? There was no reason to send one of the best SOLDIERs here, with a rescue mission? If he was here with entire ShinRa division, sure. That would be possible but for two men? No… Zack couldn't believe that.

Angeal's face was stern and serious, as almost always but the worry in his eyes was something you don't see very often. Zack wanted to run, hug his mendot tightly and not let him go, the happiness was almost tearing his heart into several joyful pieces.

But the joy didn't last too long, Angeal's eyes were burning with worry, yes, but also with anger. It was hard for the older SOLDIER to compose himself, the emotions took control over him, and over Zack. It took just a few quick steps and swift moves for Angeal to pin Zack down against the mountain wall.

„What are you doing, Angeal!? Here and…"

Angeal's eyes widened slightly, he couldn't stand it any longer. Was Zack really thinking that he would… abandon his Puppy?

„And what else could I be doing!? How _selfish_ of you, Zachariah, to think that it wouldn't hurt me?"

„H-Hurt _you!?_ You're fucking kidding me! You're not the one who spent a whole month-"

„ _And_ thirteen days. And watch your tounge! How dare you, Zachariah! One month and thirteen days without even a sign of anything! I didn't know what could've happened to you, are you alive, are you hurt, NOTHING! You thought that after seeing M.I.A. next to your surname I'd just let it go!? Who the HELL you think I am!?"

Zack tried to struggle, to free his wrists from the strong grip of Angeal's hand. He whimpered in slight… maybe not pain but discomfort, Angeal was _too_ strong, Zack couldn't stand a chance against him, he was defenseless.

„Angeal…"

„You could've been a goner right now! What did you even think? That you'd leave me like that and I would forget!?"

„YES!" Zack shouted in his mentor's face, even though he didn't mean it „E-XAC-TLY!" he tried to make the other word sound ironic, to quench Hewley's anger but it only worsened the situation.

Angeal pinned him down to the snow-covered ground and hovered over his student.

„You have _no idea_ how _painful_ all of it was for me… I missed you, Zachariah, there wasn't a single day I wouldn't worry about you! And you say you'd rather not see me here?"

Zack's eyes widened as he tried to struggle, it was not what he meant!

„I'm happy to see you, Angeal… I truly am…" he said as tears started running down his face. „I just don't understand…"

„You don't understand _what_!? That I worried about you!? That I care!? I love you, Zack, how could I not care about you!?"

Zach coughed, from the shock, and cold as well. Angeal suddenly realised what position they were in and thanks to the cold, it wasn't hard to see a blush on his face. He let go of his student and backed away. Yeah, he's gone one step _too_ far. Of course, his feelings for Zack were genuine and pure but a fight or a quarrel was definetely not the best occasion to confess them. Angeal knew that it was… not the best time but he couldn't hold it any longer. He loved Zack dearly, he wanted the boy to love him, too. He desired to be close to him no matter what… He took a few more steps back, without thinking.

„Careful!" Zack and Genesis shouted in unison, Rhapsodos caught Angeal's hand just seconds before his friend would die because of the fall.

„There…" Genesis said gently, pulling Angeal up. And even though it was fine, Angeal was safe and things should be alright now, they weren't. The air was heavy from all of this emotion and it simply was more than enough for Zack.

Young SOLDIER's mako infused eyes burned with anger as he almost jumped on Angeal. He didn't understand, his heart was heavy, he liked Cloud and… maybe was starting to fall in love with him? Maybe, he wasn't sure, Angeal's confession made him doubtful, he was full of daunt and uncertainty.

„And what the hell was _that_ right now! Angeal!" Tears started to form in his eyes again „You wanna take care of me while you can't even watch out of yourself! With a mentor like you, I'm not surprised I'm such a shitty SOLDIER!"

The fight was won. Genesis looked at Angeal, then at Zack. And it was known that this one hit Angeal hard but it was all for nothing. The words were spoken out loud, there was no way to take them back.

 _I love you, Zack. How could I not care about you?_

„Cloud…" Zack just said, trying to forget about Angeal's words.

„He is fine" Genesis said and looked at the entrance of the cave. Cloud wasn't there. „Or… maybe not?"

Zack's breathing became unsteady, he started shaking and trembling… it was too much, it was all too much! One month without communication with the world, and now the only person who was there with him was gone like that!? He had to put his hands on his knees to gain balance.

„There's a passage, I think it leads to that upper shelf" a familiar voice said and the three SOLDIER saw Cloud appear like from within the wall. „The entrance is not too wide but it's fine."

„Cloudie! I'm gonna hurt you for that, buddy, I almost got a heart attack here!" Zack shouted, feeling a wave of relief.

Cloud just giggled and then Zack rushed towards him and hugged him with care.

„Don't ever do something like that…" He then placed a gentle kiss on the infantryman's forehead. The pain in Angeal's chest was getting stronger and stronger, he couldn't even look at the two. Of course they were close now, when you are in danger and have only one person to rely on or to take care of, you two grow somewhat close sometyimes. Stuff like that happens and there is no way to prevent it.

Cloud was the one leading them through the passage, it was not always easy to walk or even crouch but after some time they finally managed to breathe with fresh air. The sun was slowly rising over the mountains as they walked towards the helicopter and a dying bonfire. Zack and Cloud were chattering together happily and Genesis noticed somethin, no, someone missing or rather, trying to be seperate from group.

He turned around and saw Angeal slowly walking in the snow, there were scratches on his arms and one shallow cut just above his eyebrow. What surprised Genesis (even though it shouldn't) was the fact that Hewley still had his Buster Sword on his back.

„Man, it was hard for CLOUD to crouch there sometimes, how did you…"

„Years of practise and some patience"

„And a sprained ankle" Genesis said, noticing how Angeal was walking.

„Nothing serious" came as an answer.

Genesis caught up with the two boys and when they were both silent for a while, he approached Zack. „You should go and talk to Angeal" he said, simply.

A lot of emotions were painted in Zack's eyes, fear, anxiety, sadness, disobedience, daunt, maybe… hope? Remorse, sadness, begging for forgiveness… „Go" Genesis ordered. Moments after, Cloud tripped and fell into the snow.

Zack rushed to help his friend but genesis was faster. He took the infantryman on his back and carried him.

„Go. I won't repeat it twice. He _needs_ you, Zack the Puppy"

Zack clenched his teeth but stopped, letting Genesis go forward and carry Cloud away from him. Maybe he really had to talk to Angeal, even if he didn't want to, this talk could be a remedy for their sadness and pain. He had to do it, with his head held high. With his SOLDIER honor, as he was taught by Angeal. He stood there, proud, ready to endure any pain that was to come. That kiss ge gave cloud, he did it on purpose but not to show how much Cloud meant to him, simply to piss Angeal off.

Angeal soon joined him but didn't say a word. They were walking slowly, in silence and that was what hurt the most. Angeal didn't even say a single word, maybe he was… waiting?

„Angeal… did you mean all of the things you said to me?"

„What do you mean by that?" Angeal asked, without looking into Zack's eyes. It wasn't because he was mad, not at all. He was afraid because he felt guilty, because he couldn't stand the fact that he didn't notice Zack's true feelings.

„Do you love me?"

Angeal stopped and took a deep breath. Zack could see heavy concern painted on his face.

„Do I love you? You're seriously asking me that!?" He said, lifting his Puppy's chin quite brutally. „What kind of question is that!?" older SOLDIER asked. Zack's heart was torn apart between Angeal and Cloud. He knew, he really knew that he couldn't keep these two near him at one time, he _had to_ make a choice. A hard one. He remembered how it felt to have Cloud near him, to take care of him… Angeal carressed Zack's cheek with his thumb. „If you could only imagine how much" he pulled his Puppy into his arms and embraced him with love and care.

Zack gave into the man, surrendered completely, then lifted his head to reach up to Angeal's lips. He loved the man's taste, scent, everything! He desired to feel it as much as he only could. He moaned into Angeal's lips as a single tear rolled down his cheek. He was happy, so happy… Before Angeal could see him crying, he broke the kiss and hid his head in a junction between Hewley's neck and shoulder.

They soon were on the ground, kissing passionately.

„You scared me there, 'Geal… I was afraid that you would fall of that cliff and die… You're the one who almost died here! I would carry on with Cloud… somehow…"

„Almost makes a huge difference" Angeal said and pulled Zack close to his chest, so that the boy could feel the man's heartbeat. They stayed like that for a moment, despite the cold. The sun began its journey through the sky and Zack and Angeal were lost in their moment.

„Um, guys?" another voice asked

„Genesis!" Angeal exclaimed. Zack was straddling on the older man's knees and the two were having a… pretty good time. The heat of their bodies was enough to keep them warm but yeah, it was about the time to go back.

„Tseng and Cloud are waiting at the camp, just seven-minute walk from here. I thought that something happened but… I guess I won't disturb you! If you wanna…"

„Drop it, Genesis. We're going" Zack said, standing up and joining the redhead General. Angeal did so, as well.

„Just… don't tell Cloud"

That earned a chuckle from Genesis.

Soon all of them were sitting in the helicopter. The view of the mountains was truly breathtaking from here.

„Angeal…" Zack whispered „Just let's not get into big fights over small things anymore… or too often. 'Kay?"

Angeal just nodded and squeezed his Puppy's hand.

The blond infantryman cast a quick glance at his SOLDIER friend, not even thinking about the possibility of Zack loving someone else, not after all this time they spent together.

Angeal was glad to have found Zack and his friend, that all of them were alive and coming back to Midgar in one piece.

The future seemed a little brighter than before but not as bright as the rising sun they were flying towards.

Not even close to this shine.


End file.
